Some Thoughts On Boxing

By Thomas Hauser
Boxing is such a chaotic mess that it belongs on the internet.

The difference between a champion and an also-ran is that an also-ran does things almost right and a champion does them exactly right.

Some words of wisdom from Dan Goossen: "Mike Katz is the Mike Tyson of the boxing media."

True champions are fighters who do what has to be done when it needs to be done.

There's no "when" in boxing; only "if."

John Ruiz looks like an affable department store security guard.

Some words of wisdom from Don King: "There's something I learned a long time ago. You don't get what you deserve in life. You get what you negotiate."

Christy Martin is a shot fighter, but she's a fighter.

Boxing is going to be boxing. No one will ever change it.

Some words of wisdom from Don Elbaum, explaining why a fighter he'd advertised as being seven-feet-one-inch tall was really only six-seven: "He's short for his height."

A boxing promoter is a man who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back when it starts to rain.

Congressman Gary Condit has a future as a boxing promoter.

Some words of wisdom from Larry Holmes: "None of us is promised tomorrow. If I go twenty-five more years, that's a blessing. But if I don't, I've done my thing."

The world sanctioning organizations are like arthritis. After a while, you get used to the pain. But every now and then, one of them flares up in a particularly troublesome manner.

In the toughest of fights, a champion hangs on when a lesser fighter would let go.

Some words of wisdom from Cedric Kushner: "Ike Ibeabuchi telephoned me at three o'clock one morning to tell me that he was seeing demons. I understand why Ike was seeing demons. What I don't understand is why he called me."

There are times when Roy Jones, Jr. makes putting together a fight deal seem like root canal work. But it's even more unpleasant to fight him.

Oscar De La Hoya knows how to win rounds, but sometimes he's unwilling to pay the price.

Some words of wisdom from Chuck Wepner, after being knocked down by Sonny Liston and then asked by the referee how many fingers he was holding up: "How many guesses do I get?"

If a ring judge lacks the courage of his convictions, he'll score close rounds for whichever fighter is favored going into a bout. A ring judge who's mentally weak is as unsuited for his job as a fighter who's mentally weak.

Why are they called "Las Vegas decisions" when the promoter is Bob Arum and "Don King decisions" when the promoter is King?

No matter how good a fighter is, most likely in the end, he'll break your heart.

Some words of wisdom from Mark Twain: "It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare."

Think about what it takes for a fighter to get up off the canvas. He's being beaten up. He's hurt. He's groggy. His ribs ache. He's getting punched in the face. And he's asking for more.

It takes great pride to be a great fighter.

Some words of wisdom from George Foreman: "Mike Tyson talks a lot about doing bad things. But all you have to do is go into prisons and you'll hear that stuff all the time."

The business of boxing is like a chess game that goes on and on and on.

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